Pride Must Suffer Pain
by sparkiE1
Summary: A slight retelling of 'The Little Mermaid', in the mermaid's point of view. Done for school, and rated PG for bloody content.


Disclaimer: 'The Little Mermaid' belongs to Hans Christian Andersen, as well as characters and settings.   
  
Author's note: Done for school, but I decided I'm going to add to my account more from now on. Dedicated to all the mermaid lovers! ^__^  
  
I was born in the sea, and it is the first of my memories. From my young age until now, I was taught the ways of my people:  
If you are of high rank you may place six oyster shells on your tail. Keep your distance from humans, for they will hunt you for your beauty-or your abnormality, your legless body, in its place a tapering fish tail.  
And at the age of fifteen, that you may swim to the surface of the water, and see these humans. I suppose all the tales about them-horrible and wonderful-could be true, but I am willing to find out. My five older sisters insist that the sights you see become addictive; and I'd best not go-but do I, youngest sea-princess, ever listen? I wished to leave my beautiful castle and garden, and the statue of the young white stone man that had come from a ship. Wonderful as it was to me, I longed for something new.  
My grandmother had prepared me for this. She'd worked white lilies into my pale hair, placing half-pearls onto each petal. On my tail she strung eight large oysters, which hurt me. When I told her this, I received this reply: "Pride must suffer pain." With a farewell, she sent me off to reach my destiny.  
My fingertips skimmed the surface of the water. My blue eyes widened at the cool air brushing over them. It sent a shiver through my skin and into my scales. As my sisters had told me, it was addictive, and I plunged my body forward towards the sky. The sky. It was the most amazing thing I'd ever seen. One side was dark, black, and shimmers of silver scattered around it. The other was a burning red and gold, a ball of yellow sinking against the horizon. And the waves seemed to glisten bronze and navy before me, behind me and around me.   
"Is it always like this?" I asked myself, pleased to hear my own voice. Everyone had told me it was beautiful-but I'd never heard it contrasting with air instead of water.  
Then I saw something greater, a ship. It had three masts, and one set sail. It calmly sat on the water, and the men on board laughed and sang. Lanterns were lit, and it looked like the shining of multi-colored pearls had been transformed into light. Grinning in delight and fascination, I turned back under the water, swimming towards the ship, and the humans.  
I smiled at all of them, gripping the wood with my slender fingers. Windows were set into the ship, and I peered in on them through the glass. They were all dressed in obvious fine clothing, waving around their hands, talking loudly. One caught my eye. He was standing in the middle, being looked on with admiration from the others.  
"Sixteen!" I heard one exclaim. He was only one year, exactly, older than I. How perfect! And with this thought I only considered his beautiful appearance and the plotting of the time.  
He was tall and strongly built, and his skin was tanned caramel by the ball of fire I'd seen in the sky. (I was later told that it was, in fact, 'the sun.') He had well-kept black hair, and his eyes were soft and dark, like a seal's. He was gentle, strong-I could tell by his appearance only. A prince. I felt like he was the only human there, we the only creatures present, and that he would allow me to look upon him as I wished.  
(As I learned more about the emotion, it came more to me as love than anything.)  
I watched him well into the night, until a clash of thunder broke my gaze. It was only then that I realized that the music had stopped, the laughter had faded, and the party had ended, leaving them all to go rest. The ship had begun to sail, and I became irritated, but determined to see the young prince again. I followed them, slowly, into the storm. The sea got angered as well; it broke into the wood, the wind in equal anger attacked the mainmast, breaking it. Before my eyes, the mighty thing made by mortal men fell apart, sending the crew, as well as my prince, into deep fear and frustration. My love fought back my fear, and I dodged the planks that the storm sent into the sea. Within moments, the sun had set; the stars were blocked by black clouds and tearing rain. I couldn't see, and felt my blind way in the sea. It was then I felt the oysters tug painfully on my tail, but ignored it. Pride must suffer pain.  
A flash of electric lavender lighting lit the scene for my blindness: All of the men were on board, screaming into the night, parts of the ship scattered about, the sea was venomously dangerous in its condition.   
The prince was not with the men, and in a fit of love and foolishness, I swam into the broken planks and the broken window glass. I swam until an oyster ripped from my tail, until my arms had aches of pain running through them like it was replacing the blood in my veins. But I swam on, until I felt my arms wrap around the young prince.  
  
  
  
The night of storms turned into a pink morning, warm with rays of sun shining about the prince and I. Early that morning when it was still darkness I had kissed his forehead, wishing he could return my love. But did he even know me? The one who had saved him-would he remember?  
Soon the light shone all around as the water did, and I saw land. Blue mountains topped with snow, and closer to the coast were forests of deep green. Resting back on the coast was a large building, and I thought it to be a church, where the humans practiced their religion. Citrus trees grew in a garden, and as if they were guards, large palms grew beside the doors of the church. Instead of the sea, here the water formed a bay. Calm but very deep, I knew, for my second sister had once told a tale that even she had been frightened to enter it. But for my prince, I swam over it and lay him on the beach in the white sand. Sun glinted in his skin and hair, and taking in his beauty once more, I swam out to the shore, hiding amongst high sea rocks.   
Several girls approached and returned with some other people from the church. They gathered around him, and he became awake, smiling at them.  
While I knew he didn't know me as his savior, and sent me nothing, I still felt pain rise in my mind, and unhappiness sent me back to my home in the sea.  
My home and family were the things I loved most, but depression settled over me very soon. I never answered my sisters' questions of what I had seen. And for that matter, I don't remember speaking with my lovely voice for a very long time. I only found comfort in my garden, and the statue.  
It reminded me of the prince, and it took my complete attention. The flowers became overgrown and entwined with the trees, turning my garden into a place of shadow...  
And I could not take it any longer.  
  
Quicker than I could've imagined, I was looking at a palace, soft colors and silk suggested it a place of great wealth.   
When I'd broken-down and told my sisters, the secret traveled to everyone. Until it came to two mermaids, who announced they had a friend who in fact knew all about my prince, including his palace's location.  
I sighed in overwhelming happiness, and my sisters smiled and swam away, leaving me with the night and the palace.   
Now I was free to watch my prince in secret, marking his ever move and word at evenings. He sometimes spent his time on the ships, talking with the other sailors. I'd heard remarks about his good deeds, and feel my cheeks blush in knowing that I had saved him. But still, he knew nothing of it, so still my happiness was veiled with a great sorrow.   
One night as I watched him, right in a narrow channel of water under the balcony, I could not imagine not being with him. Him, the humans-my people were the strangers now, and my days spent under the waves were filled with dreaming of my acceptance among them. I wondered about them.  
My grandmother, wisest of the mermaids, I think, gave me the answers she could provide. Even with them, I was deeply impressed by her knowledge.  
"If the humans do not drown in the sea, do they live forever? Or do they someday die, as we do?" I asked her.  
"Yes, all things must die, as well as the humans. But their life is short compared to ours, granddaughter. We can live on for three hundred years. When we die our bodies become sea foam and we float on the surface, never to leave our natural home. But the humans have immortal souls, which live on after the body has died. They live their life, die, and then dwell then in a glorious world in the stars."  
I was deeply involved with this idea-it seemed so perfect. "But how lovely a life they must live, however short, to know they will go in the sky with the stars. How could I receive an immortal soul, Grandmother?" and I prayed that there was an answer.  
She was silent for a moment, then said: "Unless a human man loved with all his heart and everything he knew in this world, and married you, it would be the only way to win the immortal soul. But as a creature with a tail and no legs, which is seen as ugly to humans, your chances of this is very small."  
I touched my fin, asking how anyone could see this as ugly. Sadness replaced my hope.   
"But tonight we are to be happy, for there is to be a court ball."  
  
At the ball, I felt still gloomy, despite the beautiful scenes awaiting me there. I even sang for everyone, and they clapped and truly meant it, but my pride of my voice and the pain of love shattered my mortal soul.  
I needed the help of the sea-witch, to gain my human appearance, to win my prince, my soul's immortality.  
And quietly, I slipped away from the ball, leaving all illusionary happiness behind me.  
  
I shall not tell you what horrors the journey to the witch gave me, for it was that time in my life that I could have died from true fright.   
When I reached her, she sat like a great serpent on a black stone, piercing me with her pupil-less black eyes, endless like a tunnel of dark sea. Her voice was cold and high, strained.  
It pained me to look at her, a pale horrible bag of bones, but I knew she had deep wisdom of magic. She could give me whatever I needed.  
Before I could speak, she began: "I know what you desire, and it is a foolish and stupid thing. You wish for a pain of legs to let a human man love you, and get your immortal soul. But I tell you this: the beauty and love of it has a price, for every step you take will feel like burning knives of metal in your flesh. And human blood will flow. Are you still considering...?"  
"Yes." I answer immediately.  
"But remember this as well: You are human, no longer a mermaid. You no longer may go to the sea to your Grandmother, Father, or sisters. It is air you breath. And if the man marries another, that morning you shall turn into sea foam to float on the surface. Are you keeping your wishes, dear princess?"  
I nodded.   
"Then the drink I give to you of transformation has its own price: I desire your voice, the most beautiful voice in land, sky and water."  
Shocked, I stuttered, "But without my voice, what do I have to offer to the prince?"  
"Your beauty, your grace, your eyes. Surely the man would love you for this? Now stick our your tongue, to allow my to cut it off."  
Cut it off? Then I thought of my prince, and lay my tongue out on my bottom lip. I watched in fear as she cut her own flesh, letting a drop of black blood fall into the caldron that had flames licking it all around. She continued throwing various plants, creature parts, and other things into the draught, and steam rose from it, making horrible shapes. My tongue began to dry, until she reached for me with a small dagger, and cut off my tongue.  
I gasped, wrapping my hand around my throat in the feeling. Pain seeped into me, and I fought it back with tears. In the water, the witch could not see my tears, and for this I was grateful, for she would only torment me more.   
She handed me the draught.  
  
After going through my castle once more and looking upon my Grandmother, Father and sisters, I found myself before the palace, drinking down the draught.  
It tasted of burnt stones, and as it finished, a greater pain than I'd ever known split my body, and I fell to the ground.  
  
Several weeks had passed since I'd become human. The prince treated me with great affection, though I could not tell him of who I was, or my love to him. He had the slaves give me the finest clothes and food and access to any room I wanted, and trips to town with him. We rode horses, ate dinners together. If the prince was seen in the palace, I was always close by.  
On some nights my sisters would return in the distance sea's surface, calling to me and waving. I had seen my Grandmother and Father, as well. Such joy that I got from seeing them, but even greater joy was in the palace, with my prince.  
  
In time, I learned that he was to marry, and I silently pleaded with him. He answered me one night, and kissed me.  
"Tomorrow we shall leave to meet my bride so I can marry her. Surely you understand it? My parents wish that I marry her, but you know I would choose you as a bride."  
For a moment, I felt happy with his response.  
All night they sailed to the village, and all night I watched over the sea. Leaving, I saw my sisters, waving to me and smiling, their pale skin reflecting off the full moon. It made me sad to see them, knowing that it would perhaps be the last time.   
  
For days we waited in the beautiful town, with festivals and balls every night and day, until we finally saw his bride. She was strikingly beautiful, her skin ivory and her eyes deep blue, and her hair raven and tumbling over her shoulders. I felt a pang of jealously.  
He held her in his arms and said, "It was you who saved my life as I lay near-dead on the beach,"  
Then he turned to me, requesting that I feel happy, for he said then he felt greater happiness that he'd ever known. I smiled blankly, and kissed his hand, while aware of my death on his wedding morning.  
  
For whatever broken-heart that held me down, it would not stop me from admitting that it was a beautiful wedding. They gave me a dress of gold and silk, and I carried the bride's train, trying not to cry. I had lost everything, in those moments and days.   
That night, the festivities continued, and I remembered me first coming from the sea. I ran out and joined them. Each step of my elegant dance brought more pain into me, but I kept on, hoping that pain would drive my heartbreak away. My elegant shoes were filling with blood from the dances.  
My beautiful prince, whom I'd given up everything for and received nothing in return, and his beautiful bride, which I felt a deep envy and hate of, disappeared to sleep in an amazingly lovely tent. I remained on the ship the dancing had been on, after everyone had left, trying to keep back my tears. To keep myself busy, I cleaned my shoes of the blood. When I couldn't hold it in anymore, I burst out into silent tears.  
Then I saw my sisters rise out of the sea, their hair cut off of them. They looked very solemn, and my eldest sister held up a glimmering dagger.  
"The witch has taken out hair to bring you back. Take this knife she has given us ("It's very sharp!" exclaimed my third sister), and at morning, pierce the price's heart with the blade. When the blood falls onto your human feet, they shall become a tail once more, and you may return to us. In the morning, either you or him must die, little sister." And she threw the knife.  
I caught it, grimacing at its weight and coldness.  
I went into the tent as the rosy color of dawn crept through the land. I looked over them, my hand trembling. Did I want to kill him? Could I?  
Apparently not, I realized as I ran out to the ship once more, and threw it back into the sea. The water around it turned deep red and spurted up. I gave one last look at the tent, and dived into the water.  
I did not feel like I was dying, but in fact being born into another life. The sun shone on me, and gorgeous transparent beings floated all around me. Their voices were of deep and unearthly beauty.  
"Where am I?" I asked, hearing my voice, beautiful as theirs.   
"You are with the daughters of the air. And while you have not an immortal soul yet, your good deeds are earning you this life, and you can reach one through it." As they spoke, I watched the prince and his bride looking for me. I reached out and kissed both their foreheads.  
With the others, I caught onto a soft cloud as we rose higher. "We are reaching the kingdom of heaven," one told me. "And it may be very soon that we reach it. We go into the houses of humans, seeking out good children. And for every good child we find, our time of waiting becomes shorter. And every wicked child we see, our time is added on by one day."  
As I felt weightless, my thoughts turned to the villages, and how many good children I would find there. And if, in fact, one day, the child of my prince and his bride would earn me that immortal soul.  
  
  
THE END 


End file.
